Acceptance
by Recklessly Impulsive
Summary: To smell his pillow where his head should be and reminisce about the times we shared. His head against my chest. My arms around his waist. His mile-long legs sprawled over my own. Our groins touching, stimulating the other. Gift fic for Chrissy! R&R


_Acceptance._

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><p><strong>Hey guys~!<strong>

**Thank you for the reviews on my latest story =D They made me very happy and I'm fuelled to continue! This one-shot, however, is nothing to do with that. :3 I have written this for a very special friend! ^^ She's been going through a rough spot lately, and work life is really getting her down. So, I wanted to write her something to maybe bring up her spirits! I know she's excited about reading this because she told me. But she knows nothing about the plot, or what's going to happen! Hehe!**

**So, this is dedicated to you, Confusion No Hime! I really, REALLY HOPE YOU LIKE IT. **

**I'm very nervous! *scratches head in anxiety***

**Disclaimer: I do not own bleach. It belongs to Kubo-Sensei! ^^**

**Warnings: Lots of swearing. Possible OOCness? (I'm not sure DX it depends how you interpret it). Smut. Scenes of a sexual nature. Some blood. And... Um... Well.. Read and find out! ^^**

**I hope you love it, Chrissy! **

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><p><strong>Acceptance<strong>

It's snowing.

It rarely snows.

Why does it have to snow today of all days?

I swear the world fucking hates me.

I'm like its little puppet on strings, able to be manipulated whenever it desires.

Which is ironic since I don't do what anyone tells me to. I never listen to other people. I do what I want. When I want. It's my life. No one else's.

They can't tell me what to do.

I'll just ignore them as always.

Hn.

Unfortunately that's not entirely true.

There has been some times when I have listened to someone. He was everything to me. I loved him.

The fucker.

I'm laughing right now, by the way. At the irony that that goody two shoes made me love him. He made me fall hard for him. And the sickest thing of all is that I don't care.

But he left me. Left. _Me!_

Cunt.

Bastard.

Fucker.

Prick!

Why? I don't understand why he left.

Why. He. Left. _Me! _

I never treated him badly. I was actually _gentle _with him _sometimes._

I don't know. I'm a rather possessive creature. Maybe he just had enough of it.

_"You can't control my life, Grimm! I'll do what I want!" _

That made me so angry. Why couldn't he just let me decide everything for him? It's not too hard to just submit fully to me.

I miss him.

I want him.

I crave...

His touch.

His smile.

His scowl.

The look in his eyes when I entered him.

Made love to him.

Cliché, right? And so fucking corny.

But, I was _in love _with that man.

That beautiful, feisty, sexy man.

_"I love you, Grimm. I always will," he announced with such honesty and devotion in his molten brown hues. I grinned back at him, running my hand through his vibrant orange locks and kissed his forehead._

_"I love you too, Ichi."_

It hurts. So bad. Just to say his name.

To remember his voice.

To smell his pillow where his head should be and reminisce about the times we shared. His head against my chest. My arms around his waist. His mile-long legs sprawled over my own. Our groins touching, stimulating the other.

Sometimes it was hard to get to sleep because we'd just get horny again and I'd turn him onto his stomach and grind against his ass until he begged me to fuck him.

To make love to him.

To satisfy him.

To pound him until he painted the sheets with his essence.

To slam hard and fast as he screamed my name and moaned for me to go faster.

Harder.

Stronger.

_"Ahhh! Grim-j-j-jow! I'm go-gonna come!"_

I'd always smirk when he said that.

All smug that _I_ was bringing him to completion.

To release.

To his orgasm.

_Me!_

And _no one_ else could make _him_ _come._

Ever.

Only _I_ could.

Just _me._

Just _my_ hands.

_My_ dick.

_My_ fingers.

_My_ mouth when he was being particularly fucking reluctant.

_My _words.

But he still _left_ _me._

Che.

I hated the fucking brat at first.

He was always following orders.

Getting his work done.

Going to bed early.

He never went out and had fun.

He was fucking boring.

I remember the first time I saw him.

_I'm sat in my chair, a bored expression on my face, as the teacher drones on about something to do with Pythagoras Theorem. Something I'm not fucking interested in._

_The other kids are ignoring him, too._

_Some asleep._

_Others shooting spit balls at the cunts sitting at the front._

_A typical day, really._

_I, on the other hand, lean back on my chair and cross my arms behind my head. I can see my sky blue bangs just below my teal eyebrows._

_They're always there._

_No matter how many times I combed the fuckers back._

_Gelled it._

_Waxed it._

_They. Just. Stayed. _

_Eventually, I just gave up on the little shits._

_"Oh, it appears our new student has arrived," the boring-ass teacher says with dreaded hope that the new comer wasn't like all of his other students. I smirked. He could dream, but it would never become a reality._

_"Is this classroom 6.15?"_

_Wait, what?_

_That's a new voice._

_Hn._

_It sounds smooth, yet deep. _

_Almost..._

_Foreign. _

_Since when do foreigners come _here_ of all places?_

_"Yes! Welcome," Mr. Lamewad greets and presumably invites the new kid into the classroom because suddenly I'm hearing timid, awkward footsteps near the front of the class. "Would you like to introduce yourself, young man?"_

_I don't bother to sit upright and watch as the pathetic kid spouts his fucking name. But I do laugh at the words that come out of his mouth. _

_"Hello, I'm Ichigo Kurosaki. I came here from _Seireitei High _because I got into a bit of a fight and had to transfer. This time around, though, I'm going to dedicate myself to the work!" _

_Nerd._

_Dork._

_Geek._

_Lameass._

_Lame-o._

_Lame-o-zoid. _

_Lame-wad._

_Teachers pet!_

_This new kid is clearly boring. I bet he has glasses on and wears brown shorts that finish at his knees. _

_And maybe he wears a tie. _

_And a geeky-science-y shirt with a pocket to hold pens and pencils. HA!_

_Okay, now I have to see if that's the case!_

_I snicker lightly under my breath as I uncross my arms and lower myself to the ground, the legs of my chair producing a non-existent sound as they caress the floor beneath me._

_I lift my head, expecting to see the nerdiest looking kid on the planet, but, what I see instead is..._

He really was stunning.

Heh...

Brown eyes...

So deep...

So resilient...

So inviting...

Captivating...

Mesmerising.

They held gold flecks and specks of amber.

They were beautiful.

Truly.

And utterly stunning.

I couldn't count on two hands the amount of times my heart skipped a beat when he'd stare deeply into my own eyes when he became demanding in the bedroom, digging his blunt, _perfect_ nails into my broad shoulders and scowling darkly when I purposefully slowed my pace...

Just so I could...

His nose was straight and also _perfect_.

His cheek bones were strong.

His chin was narrow.

His neck was long and succulent.

His skin...The _perfect_ sun-kissed I've ever come across.

_Beautiful._

So creamy.

And soft...

Smooth..

He was so lean.

His legs...miles long and _perfect_ locked around my waist, or over my shoulders, or spread out on the sofa.

His hands were always soft and warm.

They'd bring great heat to my dick when the bastard got frisky and snaked his hands down my jeans and boxers to curl his hand around my member.

_Some boring show about how to bring up your kids is blaring through the plasma T.V. screen and adding a dimly lit effect to the living room. I glance over at Ichigo who seems interested in whatever the fuck it is these people are babbling nonsensically about to the viewers dismay. _

_I notice a shift in his eyes but his expression doesn't change. _

_It's odd. _

_My eye catches movement in my peripheral vision._

_It's Ichigo's hand._

_And it's getting closer._

_A smirk makes itself known on my face and I throw my arms over the head of the sofa and lean back, spreading my Jean-clad legs as I do so._

_It's not long before that hand is on my thigh, and slowly lurking up the expanse to the bronze button locking my Jeans together. _

_His finger circles the metal. The movements calm and decisive._

_Another digit joins the first in the untangling of the button, and soon it pops open, Ichigo's thumb and index immediately shifting the brass zip down to the base._

_An amused chuckle escapes my parted lips as my berry grips the waistband of my boxers and drags them forward before reaching for my slowly hardening cock. _

_My Ichi releases my knob from its prison and cradles it in his warm hands, slowly rolling it like play dough._

_I chuckle at my simile and grin as Ichigo slides back the foreskin to unleash the head of my dick._

_His thumb rotates around the head tantalisingly slow, and I have to bite my tongue to stop myself from clamping my callous right hand down on his creamy neck and force his lips to close around my length. _

_Patience has never been my thing. _

_So Ichigo better hurry the fuck up._

_A sly grin appears on my berries gorgeous face, his eyes lidding and his hands working frantically at my penis. _

_It feels..._

_Amazing._

_But his mouth would feel better._

_Or his ass._

_Whichever is fine._

_As long as he does something soon._

_"Do you want me to make you happy with my mouth, Grimm?" _

_Little... Bastard! _

_He's actually _teasing me!

_Mirth dances in his chocolate brown eyes and he gives me this innocent look before lowering himself further and breathing over my shaft. _

_I shudder and suck in a breath._

_Damn him._

_"What's wrong, Grimm?" He questions as if his pretty mouth isn't a centimetre away from encasing the tip of my hard rod. The most annoying thing is, is that he's waiting for me to react. I have the urge to get up, leave the room, have a bash in our room then come back. _

_Unfortunately, I'm horny as fuck and I can always get him back later for teasing. _

_With my mind set, I smirk dangerously and clench my hands in the back of his orange mane. "Sure, Ichi, make me _'appy _with yer mouth!" And with that, I force his head down to the base, enjoying the choking sounds he always makes as he adjusts to my size. My mind fogs with unrelenting lust, as that talented mouth of his constricts around me, forcing grunts from myself. _

_I feel a vibration rumble through my being as the cunt laughs around my joy stick. But, I'm not one to take things lightly, and so, I tighten my hands in his vibrant locks and buck upwards, catching the shift of his eyelids flying open and tears appearing in the corners of his eyes._

_"Gurgrugrgruggurg!" _

_He gurgles, slamming his palms into the sofa cushions and taking everything I have to offer._

_Brave kid._

_My berry really is a fucking masochist._

_"Ya like tha', Ichi? Havin' yer mouth fucked?" I inquire while stabbing my dick against the back of his throat and rolling my eyes into the back of my head as he swallows expertly._

_Ichigo nods his head on my dick and used his strength to force my penis out of his mouth. I watch, dazed, as he removes his shirt, momentarily launching the material to the right side of the room before climbing off the sofa._

_He positions himself between my legs and grips the sides of my jeans and boxers._

_He pulls them down and yanks them from my person, along with my white socks. _

_A weird glint appears in his eyes as he cups the heel of my left foot and carries the appendage to his lips._

_I stared._

_Shocked and extremely turned on as the brat wrapped his lips around my toe, and sucked. And licked. And nibbled. _

_What has gotten in to my Ichi?_

_He's never done anything like... this before._

_But, whatever it is, I'll have to find out and have him eat it, drink it, inject it, or anything again because _this _feels amazing. _

_The submission..._

_The worship._

_I gotta say, though, I never imagined one of my berries kinks would be toe-sucking. _

_I smirk as Ichigo thoroughly moistens my toe. "Wha's gotten in to ya, Ichi-babe?" I don't really care for his answer, if he's going to give one, because he suddenly releases my toe and encases my other four toes in his warm crevice, sucking long and hard at the digits._

_He then repeats the same on my other foot, by which point, I'm allowing him to worship me. _

_My body._

_No one else can touch me._

_Kiss me._

_Caress me._

_Only my berry can suck my rod._

_Only my berry can ride my dick and take it like a bitch._

_No one. Else. _

_Only Ichigo can touch my hair. _

_Feel my nipples. _

_Sleep nestled in my arms. _

_Only him. _

_I grin as Ichigo releases my foot and shifts forwards somewhat, his head ducking down as he traces his pink appendage up the length of my tanned leg, his palms following the devious muscle, perfect in their unison._

_Ichigo smiled, sucking my bollocks into his furnace of a mouth and closing his eyes, as he slurped and rolled my testicles in his cavern. I narrowed my eyes in pleasure._

_Ichigo has always been amazing at this. _

_Slashing his tongue against the skin. _

_Rolling them and paying an equal amount of attention to the twins._

_Opening his eyes and locking those sultry brown irises with my own._

_My berry lifts my ball sacks and maps out the base lewdly._

_I smirk._

_He chuckles sexily under his breath and rises to his knees. _

_He leans forward._

_I curve and meet the teasing bastard half way, piercing the flesh above his narrow waist with my blunt nails as I haul him onto my lap, snagging his bottom lip between my teeth and bite down, my mouth filling with the metallic taste of his blood._

_Our tongues clash and grind with each other, neither resisting or backing down as the battle intensifies, tearing grunts from my throat and moans from his._

_My hold on his hips tightens further, and his blood slides down my nails._

_It feels good._

_I love it!_

_His tongue retreats back into his mouth as I parry the slick appendage, quickly trailing after the wet muscle. _

_Another gasp passes his teeth and lips, as we part momentarily._

_I grind against his clothed ass. _

_Trying to let it be known through movements alone that I want him out of his fucking skin tight skinny jeans._

_Ichigo unbuttons his jeans momentarily, hurriedly tugging them down._

_I turn him and curve my back against his._

_His orange mane rests against my shoulder. This irritates me._

_It's too sweet._

_Almost as quickly as he laid his head there, though, it was gone straight after I ripped his jeans from his person. _

_I didn't even give him a chance, and I don't think he cares as I heft him up somewhat and position the head of my dick at his entrance. _

_I slam him down hard and fast._

_"Fuck!" _

_He hisses and gnaws on his lips, curling his arms around my head. _

_His ass brings me waves of heat, sucking me further inside him. I growl and undulate my hips erratically, pumping profusely into my berries welcoming body._

_His ass clamps tighter around my dick._

_I feel the pleasure._

_Coursing._

_Building in my cock._

_"Nahh! Grimm! Fuck...Nnghhh! Harder!" _

_He curses deliciously, meeting me thrust for thrust, arching his back erotically and parting his luscious lips to scream my name! _

_Want coils in my gut._

_Want to control his body._

_Make him mine._

_Have him moaning my name loud enough for his eccentric dad to hear all the way back in Japan! _

_Have him begging for more!_

_"Say my name!" _

_I demand, stabbing his precious gland._

_He pants and plants his feet into the sofa, spreading his legs wide and tearing at the tanned skin of my broad shoulders. _

_I narrow my eyes and quicken my frantic pace, his words leaving him as if vibrations. _

_"G-G-G-OD-OD-OD, GRI-GRI-GRI-GRIMM-J-J-J-JO-JO-OW!"_

_A growl wrenches from my throat and I sink my canines into his neck, sucking harshly while continuing my brutal pace, my orgasm quickly approaching._

_"Gr-I-mm! I'm-"_

_"Just do it!"_

_I exclaim and wrinkle my nose a tad when his jizz splatters over my chest. I give one last brutal buck and empty my load in his ass, pulling out straight afterwards and letting him collapse against me. _

It even hurts to remember his fucking scent.

Even the texture of his skin.

It all hurts.

So fucking much.

And I hate it.

Why did I have to fall for that cunt?

That mother fucking prick!

It's not fair.

At all.

I shouldn't have fallen for him.

I shouldn't have let him in.

Ever.

But life's never on my fucking side to begin with.

Like I said, the world fucking hates me.

There's snow in my hair.

It's cold.

But I ignore it.

I hate the snow so fucking much!

Why today?

Seriously!

Why. The. FUCK!

The snow could choose any other fucking day, but it conveniently chooses today.

The anniversary of the day my berry _left _me.

I sigh and shovel my hands in my pockets.

I came _here_ for a reason.

It's almost time.

6:10.

I trudge through the snow.

It gives under my weight and my shoes leave footprints.

Large footprints.

I stare at the cursed-

No. I won't fucking say it.

My eyes narrow in fury and I slow my pace, listening to the midnight wind and the tweeting of the annoying little birds.

6:11.

I glare holes in the ground, my teeth grinding together in my anger.

Why am I here?

Why?

WHY?

WHY?

I shouldn't be here.

He's not here.

Not in this area.

Nowhere near here!

6:12.

NO!

I fucking came here to do something.

Get it off of my chest.

And I'm going to fucking do it.

The speed of my boots crushing the snow accelerates, and my target is getting much closer.

6:13.

I can see it.

I hate it.

I don't want to look at it.

To believe it.

But it's there.

Staring at me.

Mocking me.

And spurring me on altogether.

6:14.

My eyes harden.

My jaw tightens.

I feel sick.

It's so close.

Just a couple dozen metres away from me.

I don't want to go near it.

I want it to disappear.

To not be real.

To never exist.

But it's there.

6:15.

I'm here now.

Standing in front of it.

In front of _you._

My deepest fear come to life.

I feel like throwing up over it.

Over _you._

But I won't.

Like I said: I came here to do something and I'm going to do it.

I open my eyes.

And read what's in front of me.

In glaring letters.

The thing I never wanted to lay eyes on.

_Ichigo Kurosaki._

_Twenty five. _

_The proud of Son of Isshin Kurosaki and Masaki Kurosaki._

_Loving brother to Yuzu Kurosaki and Karin Kurosaki. _

_6/15/2009._

Ichigo Kurosaki.

The man that made_ me_ love _him._

The man that stole a fucking place in _my_ heart.

The man that got under _my_ skin and drove _me_ to accept _his_ pathetic existence.

The man that kept _me_ sane.

_My_ fucking _everything._

.

.

.

I crouch down to my haunches and pick up the photo situated in front of me.

It's a picture of him and his family.

Himself in the middle.

His sisters hugging his waist.

His trademark scowl on his face as his eccentric Dad ruffles his hair.

His mother died when he was very young, so she's not in the picture.

But he got his lustrous looks from her.

"How dare you make me love you," I laugh and replace the photo in its proper resting place before standing to my full height and titling my head back, the starlit sky greeting me with it's presence and shining brightly.

I close my eyes.

Listening to see if I can hear his voice again.

Hoping this is all a joke and he'll come up and hug me from behind.

But nothing comes.

I sigh and shake my head, a minute smile tugging at my lips.

It was time to accept it.

He was gone.

I wasn't going to get him back.

But I miss him.

And I want him.

Acceptance is a funny word.

And I just learned the meaning.

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><p><em>Well, um, that's it. O_O<em>

_Don't kill me. T_T_

_I really hope you liked it, Chrissy! And the rest of you T_T_

_*runs from angry readers chasing me with knifes and anything sharp*_

_Until next time~_

_Please review? OwO _


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